Becoming You by Suzy Welch
Becoming You is the book version of a university course professor Suzi Welch teaches at NYU, which helps students find the right career path.
Like many of these books, it looks at your Values, Personality and Aptitudes, in order to find a career and role that best suits you. It considers which combination of the three are more suited to certain careers than others, and whether they can actually be profitable as well as enjoyable.
What sets it apart in my opinion is the quality of the method, as well as great examples taken from her students. As I listened to the audiobook read by the author, it did feel like being in the class room. Her personality came across as fun and knowledgeable, and it of made me wish I could take her class in person.
The book also contains a good number of free assessments (and recommendations for paid ones) which are enlightening and go beyond basic questionnaires.
Values
The Values Bridge assessment (which you can take for free here) helps you clarify what gives you motivation in your life, and highlight any harmonies or conflicts between particular values. This might shed light on themes or struggles which are central to your life, but you might not have expressed in words before.
I found out that currently two of my top values are Wealth (having my finances sorted) and Eudemonia (wellbeing and doing enjoyable things). I have always known that part of me likes to work towards a good career, and an equally big part wants to prioritise taking it easy.
This is flagged as a conflict because basically, no one earns a lot of money without working a lot more than they rest.
At the same time, the desire to be famous ranks zero on my list, which is in harmony with a strong design to live a peaceful life (as opposed to high energy people who seem to be “always on”).
So this assessment needs you to be pretty honest with yourself. Every pursuit has trade- offs, and it’s important to be clear about what matters most to you.
Maybe you need to accept compromises when two of your values aren’t that compatible (for example, being a CEO and family time, or being an artist and work routine). Or you need to make peace with the fact that you’ll be prioritising one over the other, at least for a time in your life.
If you’ve decided to (maybe temporarily) put your career in front of your family, you can accept it rather than feel bad, knowing that you are actually honouring one of your key value.
There is no judgement there – no value is inherently “better” than the others. It’s about you being honest about what matters to you. You can revisit this choice later.
Aptitudes
The aptitudes assessment is actually built on another book, “Your Hidden Genius” by Betsy Wills and Alex Ellison.
The You Science assessment helps you find out how your brain is wired. It may also give you a sense of what careers or industries you may be a natural fit for. We’re often told we can do anything , but the truth is some of us will find it easier than others to pursue certain jobs.
Following our passion can be a fool’s errand, if we’re not that great at them or if they won’t give us the lifestyle we need. One of Welch’s students studied to be a clown, only to realise that he hated traveling with the circus. He later retrained to be an accountant.
On the other hand, we sometimes have all the skills to be talented and successful in our dream careers, we but still don’t go for those jobs.
The Four Horsemen of Dream Destruction
There are four extremely common factors that stop the majority of us from pursuing our dream roles:
1. Economic security, prioritising the route which will have the most financial reward
2. Expediency, letting comfort and conflict avoidance take over authentic needs or desires
3. Expectations, following what other people want us to do (sometimes bouncing between periods of obeying expectations and rejecting them)
4. Life events, things that derail the best intentions such as illness or bereavement, and put our plans on hold sometimes indefinitely
It’s not necessarily wrong to want economic security over pursuing our dreams, but we should at least recognise that is happening. This gives us a chance to ask ourselves whether a readjustment is needed.
According to the assessment, my greatest Horseman danger is Expediency – I’m generally happy following other peoples’ plans and I don’t like confrontation, which means I often follow the path of least resistance.
This puts me at a very high risk of missing out on my best life.
The B+ life
The final warning in the book is about the “B+” life or the “velvet coffin” life. It’s a scenario where we are comfortable enough in life, while sensing that there could be something more.
This is more dangerous than a shitty life, because there is little incentive to leave, and we have more to lose.
A few months ago I read Bronnie Ware’s book “The top five regrets of the dying” and since then I have been pondering what I will regret when I come to the end of my life.
I hope not even trying to achieve the things I dream of won’t be on my list.
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