Tips for when you can’t see your future
When you try to visualise your future, are you seeing a blank?
Maybe you’ve just had a big life change (whether by choice or not), and your previous plan are no longer an option.
Or you’ve just outgrown the plans you had, and the life you planned for yourself a decade or more ago doesn’t fit you anymore, even if you try.
If you’ve been ejected from a job, a relationship, a home you liked (or a combination of any of these) without prior warning, no wonder you can’t see very far ahead.
This period in your life where your old vision is gone, and a new one not yet formed, is both exciting and daunting.
You may feel vulnerable and open, full of possibility, like the whole wide world is ours. But you may also be terrified not knowing where you’re headed. It’s unsettling to look into your future and see a fog.
So if you’re trying to rebuild your future but you don’t know what it’s even supposed to look like, what do you do?
Here is a non-exhaustive list of what I would do:
- Don’t panic. Realise this is sort of normal. Just because you don’t see what is coming, doesn’t mean nothing is coming. You’ll just have to wait a bit longer for the fog to clear.
- Have a rest. A nap, or a lie in, or a holiday –make sure you rest as much as you need to (or as your circumstances allow). Do whatever makes you feel not stressed. Look after yourself, because it’s hard to think creatively when you’re physically or mentally drained.
- Don’t try to see too far. A wise person said (and I can’t remember who it was) that you don’t need to see the whole road when you’re driving at night – you only need to see a little bit in front of you to make it all the way. If you don’t see anything at all, now isn’t the time to make a huge move, you’ll want to take things one day at a time.
- Look for small clues of what your next direction might be. Follow the little sparks of things you find interesting. Research that hobby, that house move, that holiday you’ve just thought about. You never know where a new interest may lead.
- Do something new. It could be so small as cooking a different meal, going to a new class or local group, anything you’ve not done before, or done in a while, what gets you out of your bubble. This will give you both fun and inspiration for the next phase of your life.
- Stay in touch with friends. This is a time when you might want to do nothing at all (and feel disconnected from others when you meet) but your friends are here for support in bad times, not only for fun. Hanging out with others will make you feel better.
- Don’t pressure yourself to have everything figured out. You may feel you “should” have figured things out my now, but there really isn’t a timeline. The more you push yourself and the less answers you might get. Sometimes we get more answers by not trying too hard, and seeing what emerges naturally.
- Remember this is temporary. Your old vision has ended and you’re just in the process of making a new one. Your new life is tanking shape little but little. You’ll know what feels right when it comes to you.
- Enjoy this in-between time – it’s like waiting at the airport before your flight, you can’t make it go any faster, but you don’t have to be miserable during the wait. Take the time to look after yourself, stay in touch with friends, try new things and soon enough the next stage of your life will reveal itself.
I hope this helps!
