Why I feel relaxed about losing my job (again)

I lost my job… again. My contract ended last week on a project I had worked on like crazy, and I will soon be out of work.

You’d think I’d be devastated, but I feel surprisingly relaxed about it.

The thing is, it’s happened a few times already in the last few years – the industry I work in has been having a hard time since Covid.

The first time it happened, it came as a total shock. I cried a lot, wondering what I could have done better despite having been a model employee. But a few jobs later, I’ve come to realise that lay-offs are often like break-ups: it’s not you, it’s them.

So this time, aside from the boring practicalities of unemployment (cutting down on spending, cancelling fun plans, sending out CVs), I actually welcome the time off.

At this point I’ll caveat that I am not delusional, but I have no dependents and I can afford to be chilled, in a way maybe not everyone can.

But the truth is, for the majority of us it is hard to have free time and money at the same time. Working hard and earning well has its perks (hello restaurants, fancy hairdressers, holidays) but your days off are always preciously counted. If your family is abroad like mine, that is hard in itself.

Not working may mean the stress of no money coming in, but it also frees your calendar to do what you love.

So this summer with my new freedom, I plan to look after myself in a way I can’t when I am working – wake up according to my body clock, go to the gym more, make home-cooked meals, visit relatives, and generally be in charge of my own schedule.

I’m also determined to embrace the uncertainty of the job search, and trust something will come up eventually.

At the same time this summer, my partner happens to be away for 3 months. This comes with a degree of loneliness and boredom (and envy of his time off). But I also get to do the things I can’t when he’s here, like having the whole bed to myself,  eating what I like when I like, or not really doing chores. I will be happy when he is back, but I am happy now too. Just a different flavour of happy.

I figure it’s a bit like the weather – if we just live for sunny days, especially here in London, life can get pretty miserable. So I’m enjoying plenty of ice cream in the heatwave now, knowing that I’ll enjoy hot chocolate under a blanket this winter.

With jobs like with everything else, if we can’t control our circumstances, we may as well make the most of what comes up.

That’s why I’m not too worried about things now. I’m just curious to see what comes next.